Something other than funny stuff

I'm feeling just the slightest big overwhelmed with things right now. Ok ok, not things.  School!  We are beginning our 6th year of homeschooling on Tuesday, and I'm not even close to being prepared.  I didn't get everything I wanted to get done this summer--to the school room, the house, things with the kids, my summer reading...  I really wish that I could put off the beginning of school for a few more weeks, and technically I CAN, but we're moving again next year and I want to be done with the school year before the move.

The move: another source of mental spaz.  I really detest living in limbo.  I have spent the better part of my adult life living in limbo.  We know we're going, we don't know where, and we probably won't know until the month or 2 before, and in the meantime the possibility of where will change 5 times.  That's living in limbo.    The older the kids get, the harder it is to move.  Saying goodbye is hard.  Creating a new life wherever the Navy sends us is hard.  Forcing myself to create that new life when I'm only going to be there a couple or a few years is even harder.  Why would I want to get close to anybody when I'm just going to have to say goodbye way too soon?

My brain has gotten pretty good at messing with me though.  I'm usually in denial until the day before we leave.  Don't get me wrong, I know I'm moving and I'm very pragmatic and Type A about the whole thing--but the emotions of it really being REAL don't hit me until the last minute.

This entry has taken a turn I didn't intend, but since I'm going that direction...

I'm really hoping that our next move is back to somewhere we've already been.  Unless of course that place is Connecticut, and then I'll have to politely decline.  And if I ran the Navy, that would be acceptable.   :-)  I just don't want to start all over again, again.  I'd like to float back into the life I had before I left.  I know things are never the same after you leave, but I'd already have a church, friends, doctors, dentists, hair dressers, I'd know the area, the kids would already have friends, and you know, there's just something to be said for that.

I want to get somewhere and stay, but where would that be?  We've had people ask us where we will live when Jerry retires.  I don't have a clue!  I mean, he may not even retire for 13 more years (that would be retiring at 30), and we've moved so much his entire career that I don't know if we'll ever feel settled in one place.  Oh, well, I guess we'll just have to cross that bridge when we get there.

I'm off to work on school.  Have a good day!