FTMKS, catch up post 2

These are some FTMKS in 2011.  There are a few in there of funny things J or I said, too.  

January 2011
R: Mama I've cleaned my room enough where daddy won't say 'reh-dic-uh-luss' so can I watch tv?

February 2011
L: mama? Can you cratch my back? I got a kee-toe bite.

L: Mama, look at my butt!
Me: L nobody wants to look at your naked butt. 
L: But mama! It's awesome!

In a matter of minutes, R (5) said "enchantingly good" and "freakishly hot". I love her and her vocabulary

L freaked out thinking he saw a spider (it turned out to be a grasshopper). J went to take care of it and L said, "NO DADDY! I don't want it to bite my penis!"

L told us he wants a batman cat with girly hair bows when we were discussing pets. I worry about that child.

April 2011
We were talking about the kids and what would happen if they had a baby at a young age. L said, "daddy will be in jail from punching somebody."

We watched last week's AI last night. When Scotty came out to sing R said, "Ugh, here comes the country pumpkin."

Channeling Joey Tribbiani, my little L just said, "Hey there cute, cute mama."

May 2011
Me, joking of course: thanks for 15 infuriatingly frustrating years, honey.
J: well living with you hasn't been a circus.

L, while leaving the Y: Mama my teacher dint take us outside to pay on da paygound.
Me: because she wanted to keep you safe. There's a storm blowing in.
L: yeah, I don't want lightning to hit me and there would be a baby in my belly.
Me: What?

R: Mama, I want to have a play date with my friend E when you aren't there. 
Me: That's not gonna happen, because I want to spend time with my friends, too. 
L: But Mama, you don't have any friends

June 2011
R: Mama, why do we sneeze?
I explained briefly using words like cilia and foreign particles...
R, looking bright eyed with wonder: Somebody should really put that in a science book!

Me: where's L?
L: I wite heah. I weading a book.
Me: a book? (We're outside)
L, coming into my sight: it's a cool book, mama! It has wheels on it!

(It was a Chilton's manual)

L was asking for something and not listening to the answer. 
Me: L, are you hard of hearing?
L: yes

July 2011

L has his rhymes/sayings mixed up. He told B, "see ya later pants on fire."

Gwen: we can still be best friends when we're grow ups!
R: yeah, that's what I want.

While listening to Kryptonite, J said, "THIS is why I want to play drums!"
Me: you have to be able to keep a beat, babe.
Him: no no no, not necessary at all.

L just had a conversation with himself. 
Pretending to be me: L stop eating the bwown sugar
Him: But Mama, I like bwown sugar
As me: Do you want to be gwounded fwom snacks?
Him: No, but mama I like bwown sugar!
In other news, every time L gets in trouble he cries for his daddy.

L told J at dinner that he owed him 2 Batman puppies

L: can I stand on this (big beach) ball?
Me: no, it's dangerous
L: dangehwess? How?

R: Nice parents let their kids watch tv all day. You're not like that.

August 2011

L's favorite saying lately, "My _____, my rules!" Not sure where he got that. I don't say that! Today he said to R, while playing with B, "My Bubba, my rules!"

L: Mama, can I have popsicle?
Me: L, it's 9 in the morning and besides, you haven't even told me good morning yet!
L: Good morning, mommy  

30 seconds later: Mama, can I have popsicle now?

September 2011

L: mama, I gonna buy daddy this fehwawi (ferrari) for him birt day.
Me: good luck with that baby
L: well, it'll be a toy car.

L: Mama, when will I be 5? When B moves out?

L: Mama, can you pweetend you my gwanma?
Me: Why do you want me to pretend I'm your grandma?
L: cause I want da tv on

B: hot pink is one of my favorite colors!
R: I wouldn't go around telling people that, B.

L is singing Bon Jovi: Shot in the heart, and you're too late...

L: But Mama, I want Zeewoh (zero)!!
R: L, zero means none.
L: Oh.

October 2011

One of L's little friends, Caroline, wanted to hug him and tell him bye after church today. When he went to hug her, she kissed him on the cheek. L said, "Well. That was awkward", in a way that only a child of J's could say it.

November 2011

R: Mama, I DID my math. Do you actually have to SEE it?
Me: Yes, because I don't trust you to tell me the truth.
R: How can you not trust your own daughter, Mama?
Me: You've already lied to me today about school work, R. Now, bring me your math.
R: Ok I will. But give me about 10 minutes.

L: mama, can I be excused from the table, so I can get down and shake myself?

L: Did she say yes or no?
J: I don't know who 'she' is.
L: Me either.

Me: I'll do it later
R: (to L as she's walking away) Later usually means never, L.

December 2011

L: Mama, I wasn't goin to steal the smashmellows. I was just looking at them.

L: Mama, can me and B have some tape to put over our mouths?
Me: Dude, that's the best idea you've had all week!

I'm grading science. The question is "Why do chromosomes usually come in even numbers?" O wrote, "so it's easier on the mom." Clearly I have work to do.

I'm still grading science. Today's question is "What are the five main tastes your tongue can detect?" O wrote, "bitter, sour, sweet, salty, and plain NASTY"--her emphasis, not mine.

L: Mama, I want those cookies!
Me: B bought you some ice-cream. Don't you want that instead?
L: Well, I been thinking 'bout that, and I decide I want both.